Sometimes the most significant life events are the hardest to blog about. They are difficult to process quickly for a timely post, and there are always the “do I blog or don’t I” and “is it too personal for the internet” questions.
Last Thursday I spent most of the day in the emergency room due to chest pains. I think my body wants to make sure my 30th year goes out with a bang. After a series of not too invasive tests, the supposed diagnosis is esophageal spasms. I’ll save you the Google time, it’s like really killer heartburn that wreaks havoc on the esophagus. Trust me, it didn’t feel like heartburn, and it still isn’t very comfortable. But I have medication, the pain is definitely decreasing, and thank God I have tests confirming I have a healthy heart! Surprise, surprise, stress is the likely culprit. Take a couple of boys with school difficulties, a husband preparing to travel overseas for two and a half weeks and add that to the typical day to day for a family of six and you might be surprised these are my first chest pains.
As if that weren’t enough, yesterday half of my hand turned blue. Not Smurf blue, but “dusky” blue. The color your skin turns when there is not enough oxygen or circulation in a part of your body. We initially witnessed this dusky blue color during our twins’ time in the NICU, so as soon as I saw it, I knew it wasn’t good. I called the ER, discussed it with a nurse. After what seemed like forever, but was really about 45 minutes of intense prayer and rest, my hand returned to normal and I dodged another ER visit.
My health is just another addition to the pile of things trying to discourage me lately. I’m combating my own negative thoughts with the promises of God. It’s not easy, I’m not perfect at it, but I’m trying and getting better at it, bit by bit. I still haven’t thoroughly processed what all this medical stuff means, I’m still working the process with doctors, but I know that God is faithful. I’m encouraged by Psalm 34:19 “Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all.” If you have something you are struggling with, I’d like to encourage you to check out White Paper Bible. The papers are compilations of scriptures that anyone can create on any topic they like. Use the search feature to find something that fits what you are going through and find a scripture to use as a weapon against your own negative thoughts.
Hopefully, I’ll find some rest and my children will be fever free and on their way back to school soon so I can find more time to blog about all the craftiness I’ve been working on. Real life isn’t the most fun to read about, but it’s the most authentic. Truth is at the sight of the blue hand I thought, “Now how am I supposed to finish those crochet projects for Valentine’s Day?” LOL