that we are “caught up”! LOL And I’m lying to myself right now. I feel pretty caught up with my housework tonight as I sit here on the sofa. Sure, I still have at least 3 loads of laundry in the queue and there are (of course) a few dirty dishes that missed the dishwasher sitting in the sink, but “Hey, it could be worse.”
When my first son was born I would beat myself up mentally if I couldn’t have everything just so at least one day a week. Six years and four children later, I’m SO over that! This is the best it ever gets. What’s important is that I’m okay with that. Did you hear me, “I’M OKAY WITH THAT!” Single child mother Heather would cringe at that.
I believe the key is seeking to find the balance that fits your family. Each of us has our own ideas, thoughts and feelings about the space we live in. As mom, we have to not only take into account our opinions, but those of our husbands, children, mother-in-laws and friends who pop in. It can get very overwhelming. You may think I have over-analyzed it, but I started taking mental notes about how my children behaved as the toy and kitchen clutter, waxed and waned. One of my children RAVES any time I vacuum. Obviously he’s more impacted by the clutter than the other children. My husband, on the other hand, tolerates a lot more. Then again, he’s the first to exclaim “WOW” upon opening the door after one of my heavy-duty, day long, cleaning binges. You also have to take into account your physical surroundings, the square footage, layout and even if you rent or own your home. Truth is, some families can take more clutter (i.e. mail pile and kitchen junk drawer) than others.
It has taken me years to overcome the programming (good and bad) passed down by my mother and the homes of others I visited growing up. I think not enough moms talk about this issue, we all secretly long to be Martha Stewart or Bree on Desperate Housewives. We don’t all have that personality, organizational skills, or even time. Let’s be real, both Martha and Bree have fewer children than I do, not to mention bigger checking accounts. So why do I feel compelled to compare myself to them?
I want to encourage you to study your family and your home as mom. Ask questions, even kids who can barely talk can express their opinions. Find the groove that works and do the best to make routines that get you to that point. Know that some weeks (like my week of volunteering) will affect your plans and home, and that it takes TIME to recover. But most importantly, resolve that once you find that perfect plan for your family and hit that target a majority of the time, that you will be PROUD of yourself! That night, kick your feet up, watch your favorite guily pleasure and make more dirty dishes by devouring your favorite frozen confection!
You’re right. We all have to find that sweet spot and stop comparing our lives and the cleanliness of our homes to others. Find what’s comfortable and acceptable to your family.